tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57841271040826665372024-02-20T02:11:54.828-08:00The Eunikorn's Kweifashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-75788745468359172342013-10-17T21:25:00.000-07:002013-10-17T21:26:36.885-07:00The Chronicles of an Adorably Awkward Lesbian<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">apacowayner's VLOG</span></b></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Chronicles of an Adorably Awkward Lesbian</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Curious as to what I’ve been up to in recent years? Do you find yourself being kept up at night by the ever present thought of, “What is that lil rascal, Ashley Lindo, up to? Bitch never returns my texts, she damn well better be busy as shit.” </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Well, that’s a little hostile and weird but obviously not that weird enough for me as I’ve made a video expressing such things just for you.
This vlog details what I’ve been doing with my life both professionally and personally since completing high school and my plans for the future.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ByOa1XKu-iM?list=PL6hNvugiTTZC3d0bX7FFR62cPvZCBwPQm" width="560"></iframe>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-66119821903349517292013-10-13T21:31:00.000-07:002013-10-17T21:32:00.885-07:00San Fran, Sans Plan<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">San Fran, Sans Plan</span></b></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">apacolyptic productions</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This summer I was in desperate need of some solace. My mind felt scattered and my spirit yearned for something more. After my 26th birthday I spontaneously bought a ticket to the bay area and spent a month visiting my best friend. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The footage was collected from my month in San Francisco and our road-trip to Los Angeles.
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="420" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/6hRenTihyBY" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Check out Jill's work at www.jillbethhannes.com</span><br />
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<br />ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-33310278226049857872013-07-20T15:30:00.000-07:002013-08-05T15:30:40.811-07:00Professional résumé vs Acting résumé<div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; font-family: '.HelveticaNeueUI'; font-size: 15px; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap;"><b>Professional résumé vs Acting résumé</b></span></div>
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The only difference between my professional résumé and my acting résumé?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFUSk6RB-X-OTMXgzrXT_oUb_kkCuP-gT-7lOQv1WLgFIzEp6BIXhlRM7Etsj-XsUmIhU0J8Lb1n8zO_aqSgilL7Cup7Wy6CxK8x-qlqUY71qJJYImKrfTJTn3Qhx3SHz5alnmgxcDF1Q/s640/blogger-image-711198539.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFUSk6RB-X-OTMXgzrXT_oUb_kkCuP-gT-7lOQv1WLgFIzEp6BIXhlRM7Etsj-XsUmIhU0J8Lb1n8zO_aqSgilL7Cup7Wy6CxK8x-qlqUY71qJJYImKrfTJTn3Qhx3SHz5alnmgxcDF1Q/s640/blogger-image-711198539.jpg" /></a></div>
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Twerking.<br />
I'm <i>so<i> proud. <br />
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</i></i>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-30555484335872305372013-06-26T13:33:00.000-07:002013-08-05T15:28:30.539-07:00Doodles: "A babe caught in the breeze"<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Doodles</span></b><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"A babe caught in the breeze"</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Move over, Kim K! There's a new sheriff in fannytown...</span></div>
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ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-53410784219472763072013-06-22T14:12:00.000-07:002013-06-28T14:24:53.341-07:00Today I made...Skull Bracelets<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I made...</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Skull Bracelets</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw7THJj8fS_2bJ3uQ3rfbrDOjVRy8DJ7rJdhazcgojCRSboO3JKrycvtFuwtQv899-zfN-U0XnU7m-8xmSPabiA5A3JaFOmh9azM8glre_-7d_gshTBXfdBIMjQRxuN3VjahJZVzOu9fk/s612/1044225_960269136109_284431568_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw7THJj8fS_2bJ3uQ3rfbrDOjVRy8DJ7rJdhazcgojCRSboO3JKrycvtFuwtQv899-zfN-U0XnU7m-8xmSPabiA5A3JaFOmh9azM8glre_-7d_gshTBXfdBIMjQRxuN3VjahJZVzOu9fk/s400/1044225_960269136109_284431568_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I tried to use up most of the skull beads I had lying around by making some bracelets and necklace charms today.</span>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-27488905573294185872013-06-16T14:16:00.000-07:002013-06-28T14:24:41.326-07:00Today I made...Tyrannosaurus Rex Plate<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I made...</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tyrannosaurus Rex Plate<br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I made a plate that encourages a healthy, active lifestyle and has a dinosaur on it...also, datass.</span>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-65877612033656860932013-05-30T14:54:00.000-07:002013-06-28T19:42:10.985-07:00Next Stand-up Performance...<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Next Stand-up Performance:</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">May 30, 2013 || 8pm || $5</span></i></div>
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<i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse</span></i></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA02XjB_MT4iUq9BNP_1X9b6UEjbRXbO36H2vd7dlWgjOn_LMRJLnOI9mbBBL-JhSo-O3XecNNNVUXknX6TJCjFClMv-xwhMYwDgHP0dVVvYgL0K8vc0bsM7AiN066zOkcaQ1guqRwb2Y/s480/248151_617736994903027_164249779_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA02XjB_MT4iUq9BNP_1X9b6UEjbRXbO36H2vd7dlWgjOn_LMRJLnOI9mbBBL-JhSo-O3XecNNNVUXknX6TJCjFClMv-xwhMYwDgHP0dVVvYgL0K8vc0bsM7AiN066zOkcaQ1guqRwb2Y/s400/248151_617736994903027_164249779_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I drew a space unicorn to inform you that I will be performing at the Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse next week (Thursday, May 30th at 8pm).
Come out and get weird with me.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCO2TbJqlqVPl90778pyDa3cZ8icdcwA0NAEVYpUtthkXlun9lbO_mlM1_TVKVWepezGsY2a34qwP-3sZjTRhvvZ3XVpP_DfYZTJqFgc9je3bMqqEOmMen3aw-hDLx0Ix0Oaem2PbjsvA/s743/264404_607760919233968_782036866_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="411" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCO2TbJqlqVPl90778pyDa3cZ8icdcwA0NAEVYpUtthkXlun9lbO_mlM1_TVKVWepezGsY2a34qwP-3sZjTRhvvZ3XVpP_DfYZTJqFgc9je3bMqqEOmMen3aw-hDLx0Ix0Oaem2PbjsvA/s640/264404_607760919233968_782036866_n.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">UPDATE:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In case you missed it, here is the live performance from May 30th:</span><br />
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ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-31028034525653300722013-05-20T14:17:00.000-07:002013-06-28T14:26:11.711-07:00The Indianapolis Bench<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Indianapolis Bench</span></b><br />
<i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Personal Photos</span></i></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk0ReixncU_0EuZnmiyB4A68q2VHQGixyA75_hTE-l7h0Z7xzWEu0O2HxRuRaN82y0MtjHj9NDYCq_Xn4EmEN5y4qc_JVtBxuhhXYqP72WEB5lb71j18KKc9TaukyFx45pAkG_2bAmn_A/s612/310147_944345327549_315611013_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk0ReixncU_0EuZnmiyB4A68q2VHQGixyA75_hTE-l7h0Z7xzWEu0O2HxRuRaN82y0MtjHj9NDYCq_Xn4EmEN5y4qc_JVtBxuhhXYqP72WEB5lb71j18KKc9TaukyFx45pAkG_2bAmn_A/s400/310147_944345327549_315611013_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm outside waiting for the truck to find its way back to the garage so we can load it up and go to the banquet and as I'm sitting on the bench I see a lady sitting across from me. She's the very picture of a strong black woman. Her braids securely pinned down and held to her head with a mesh hair net. She is a janitor here and began to tell me how she looks like a mess and her husband told her she should be ashamed but she liked her sweatpants and t shirt. I told her comfort is important and I thought she looked beautiful. She went on about her vacation plans and how she planned on wearing dresses everyday and sandals. She even plans to get her toenails done so she can strut all around. "ima take the bus too because I ain't go nowhere to be. Ima enjoy my time off." She hasn't taken off in years because there was no one to cover her shifts but they hired a new girl recently. Then another woman walked up. White with a mullet, she plopped down next to her friend and they both started talking with me. This woman and her husband were just pulled over by a cop who's been bugging them for a while because their truck isn't safe to drive. "howmeye supposta get to work? I live on the west side and this cop was nasty." The other woman replied, "he iddit hafta do that." It felt good to speak with them. Not sure why exactly, but it did.</span>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-1202885531273978452013-05-18T14:37:00.000-07:002013-08-05T15:08:56.662-07:00National Seaperch Challenge 2013<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="background-color: transparent;">National Seaperch Challenge 2013</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i style="background-color: transparent;">Indianapolis, Indiana</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVirPpl0fUaHqOT_4BqeWwViOomaUqwZst4Is4UtfUB2iszcn0uDroKZEl8GzqQbXRscpbthxYtt9r7-ztpRPko0cR6psIm2tqXkvEsAvRR6Iks9t1BhKVPx-Dn5eKfVn0lGe7PJhAuAM/s612/seaperch.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVirPpl0fUaHqOT_4BqeWwViOomaUqwZst4Is4UtfUB2iszcn0uDroKZEl8GzqQbXRscpbthxYtt9r7-ztpRPko0cR6psIm2tqXkvEsAvRR6Iks9t1BhKVPx-Dn5eKfVn0lGe7PJhAuAM/s320/seaperch.png" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-style: normal; line-height: 18px;">I went to Indianapolis this weekend to host the live webcast of the National SeaPerch Challenge along with 5:00 Films and Media.</span><br style="font-style: normal; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-style: normal; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-style: normal; line-height: 18px;">Now more than ever teaching children the fundamentals of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics needs</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-style: normal; line-height: 18px;"> to go beyond the classroom. Programs like SeaPerch provide an invaluable resource for the engineers of tomorrow.<br /><br />The only way I'd be more excited for this gig would be if the children were engineering fully automated creatures from the Mesozoic era...but, I mean, they are talented lil babers- maybe robodinos aren't completely out of the question.</span></span></i></div>
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<i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz2wW2xZ40sTeafJmD8SdRHDcFkvhEL61FGkpU7JNSkIPpnHngOPRumie2Ndqkp5KVRHaRuuJ_K2d8P39nwst3l9GXj8S1xczTp6JXgJqzOuYTISCPpOQnXud5bijuD6tfHh7chpsJ75k/s960/580170_619742121369181_1427657258_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz2wW2xZ40sTeafJmD8SdRHDcFkvhEL61FGkpU7JNSkIPpnHngOPRumie2Ndqkp5KVRHaRuuJ_K2d8P39nwst3l9GXj8S1xczTp6JXgJqzOuYTISCPpOQnXud5bijuD6tfHh7chpsJ75k/s400/580170_619742121369181_1427657258_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></i></div>
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ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-25055801166465214212013-05-07T14:46:00.000-07:002013-06-28T14:54:14.054-07:00Silk Route Music Festival Commercial Shoot<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Silk Route Music Festival</span></b></div>
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<i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Commercial Shoot</span></i></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhICzi83JUoXPJsF21kORRANTdqhmUhl5sd60wNwU_q371Ak7twyfD4vpb5vnFREPEt5fBeLVG-3QzFx45H34WiokfP43O3up65EL6lglmz9A8t6aVJ3xYECVBV2rwqG_igVThK0OluCWg/s612/silkroute.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhICzi83JUoXPJsF21kORRANTdqhmUhl5sd60wNwU_q371Ak7twyfD4vpb5vnFREPEt5fBeLVG-3QzFx45H34WiokfP43O3up65EL6lglmz9A8t6aVJ3xYECVBV2rwqG_igVThK0OluCWg/s400/silkroute.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This past weekend m’lady and I went to the land of wild ponies to shoot a commercial for the Silk Route Music Festival in Cyprus.
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">With my glow-in-the-dark skin and Jenn’s almond eyes of joy we were the perfect hires for a commercial to air all over the Middle East and Russia…blended right in with those Persian and Iranian girls, practically twins.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Like most beach shoots with perfectly clear skies, it was freezing and I honestly believed for a moment there that my nipples were going to push out of my skin and skidder on down the beach they were so erect.
A park ranger came by and gave the hula hoop a whirl. (And, as is the norm for our generation, everyone captured the moment via their cellular devices.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To anyone who has ever mistakenly thought I was well adjusted or could handle myself responsibly in situations where others are present, ya’ll some silly ass geese. I’m awkward as fuck. My social anxieties are evident even when on a set. I’m tall and thus normally am placed in the back in group shots. This is great because then I can really cut loose and explore my dance moves…get real wild with that shit. I, unlike most gals, don’t give a flying fuck if I’m on camera or not. You need a filler, someone who will have only the back of their arm in a shot? I’m your girl. No ego here, work is work. As long as I will get a copy and credit, I’m golden.
I can be seen above “blending in" with all the beautiful people…and by that I mean standing out in a painfully profound way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It hurts to be this cool, it really does.</span>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-89489676575871040992013-04-08T15:01:00.000-07:002013-06-28T15:05:30.491-07:00Today I made..."Wings Outstretched" Owl Sculpture<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I made...</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Wings Outstretched"</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I sold another commissioned piece!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB7teFZBATIuYCaF0jeC3kO1XeBxLpG4G2huTR8nfhCsrplS4E5ZSgfJCEVPNhXp5wR_uxYX4KQLnm3IENnbR9YYEkRC9CZ3eyIr78uKLwzKnXmilcPkPOIE-_ROife6nETxDAUPdz3HQ/s480/319956_599206673422726_782897938_n.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB7teFZBATIuYCaF0jeC3kO1XeBxLpG4G2huTR8nfhCsrplS4E5ZSgfJCEVPNhXp5wR_uxYX4KQLnm3IENnbR9YYEkRC9CZ3eyIr78uKLwzKnXmilcPkPOIE-_ROife6nETxDAUPdz3HQ/s400/319956_599206673422726_782897938_n.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<br />ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-34147804409073429022013-03-29T14:07:00.000-07:002013-06-28T14:24:23.221-07:00"Keri Kyphosis": An ACL Digital Short<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Keri Kyphosis</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">An ACL Digital Short</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaX6cOZRFwR2CKcsHqnE1CnitTw-39jlk9ocdPIhtgN9OEvGs9vky9dyBgXBo_HAWwZ6NeydQFiS8kOmFJaF19fHgu9gC1f9hu800qxUNKYUa-MPjVTa1yWBE5toHTnGHdSnvWxz8Wjxw/s756/894073_593879257288801_210969250_o.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaX6cOZRFwR2CKcsHqnE1CnitTw-39jlk9ocdPIhtgN9OEvGs9vky9dyBgXBo_HAWwZ6NeydQFiS8kOmFJaF19fHgu9gC1f9hu800qxUNKYUa-MPjVTa1yWBE5toHTnGHdSnvWxz8Wjxw/s400/894073_593879257288801_210969250_o.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Like any raging queen, nothing sounds better to me than a good wig and expressive hand motions. Above are some snapshots of the different characters I portray in my most recent comedic short, "Keri Kyphosis".</span><br />
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Keri is an unlikely model who proves that the world of high fashion has room for one more mishapen ball of clay.</span><br />
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Check out the video and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/apacowayner">subscribe to my youtube</a>!</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/aJJeAx9QQHo" width="560"></iframe></span>
ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-14792574202698167152013-03-26T15:05:00.000-07:002013-06-28T15:18:42.498-07:00Mautner Project Gala 2013<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Mautner Project Gala 2013</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>with Ashley Linder and Tagg Magazine</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8IqNsiMHmdWpjFbBGtAJmvBqcvqfUccmtJScjFdq1W_icfahevVQ19xNCl2MF7br5QZel13cE0d1S0lZcO_QVhhCD-wo6p6tbBSzUNJE0bPqd6U0XokPeL08Xm1NgRmS7uAFTt94U3Hk/s960/577943_916407739699_242323621_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8IqNsiMHmdWpjFbBGtAJmvBqcvqfUccmtJScjFdq1W_icfahevVQ19xNCl2MF7br5QZel13cE0d1S0lZcO_QVhhCD-wo6p6tbBSzUNJE0bPqd6U0XokPeL08Xm1NgRmS7uAFTt94U3Hk/s320/577943_916407739699_242323621_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was both my honor and pleasure to cover the Mautner Project Gala on behalf of Tagg Magazine this evening. I interviewed three state delegates including the honoree of the evening, Maggie McIntosh, who helped to pass the legislation legalizing gay marriage in Maryland.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Mautner Project is committed to improving the health of women who partner with women including lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals, through direct and support services, education and advocacy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Check out the video produced by Kelsey Brannan:</span></div>
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ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-14735385389897008602013-03-18T20:11:00.000-07:002013-06-28T13:26:35.630-07:00On being fierce, fabulous, and yourself<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Thoughts on being fierce, fabulous, and yourself.</span></b></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Joining "The Fashion District DC" Team</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In early 2013, I received an e-mail from my friend, Stone, who asked for my help with his latest project. He wanted to produce an online fashion video digest that put DC in the spotlight. The nation's capital is known for many things-- free museums, politicians, government, traffic congestion, borrowed architecture, but... fashion? Do Washingtonians have any real "fashion sense"? Stone wanted to tackle that question by creating a visual record of just what was happening in the DC fashion scene, leaving the answer up to the viewer.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Fashion is something I do not know much about. My own personal style consists of thrifted clothing, comfortable fabrics, offensively bright colors, interesting textures, patterned leggings/hose/tights, and cool things my sister is no longer wearing. Comfort has always been my chief concern. I mean, you're going to be schlepping around in these garments for a while, why not enjoy how they feel against your skin? If it feels good and is reasonably priced (which hardly anything in this area is anymore, hence why most of my clothing is from the thrift store), I'm down to complete the sale and call it my own. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No one has ever told me I was fashionable. In fact, when I was a traffic reporter on television, the higher-ups expressed that my style was too colorful, too vest-ful, and most of all, "not newscaster-y at all." Only after years of hearing how different my clothing tastes are that I finally understand it... I don't dress like people think I should, and that's <b>not</b> a bad thing. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Everyone has their own sense of what looks good and what feels good. In the fashion world, there is a place for everyone to shine. You like bold animal prints and hoop skirts? There's an outfit for you, honey. You want to wear nothing but black for the rest of your days? There's a community that's there to support you, booboo. You want to spend hours doing your make-up and glue foam to your face every night? There is a world waiting to hold you close to its breast (the NYC club kids are still going strong and are impeccably dressed night after night). It doesn't matter if you think you fit in or you don't. Fashion isn't about fitting in, though the corporate machine would like us to believe otherwise... It's about being innovative and standing out.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With fashion, it's important to never lose your personal center. To quote Stone Lyons, creator of 'The Fashion District DC':</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Be fierce,</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> be fabulous,</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> but most of all, be yourself."</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT3EJskMDrotbLdXesdsFlPj1lbOUQLc5zMMBFWyDk6EK-l7rM8oNPM8F55Giuqcd7hWMJBoEYC0GeNU715iVnXdbYmmLmNHB6gf0xPufViQkW8OcuaUcujiIEYOu4bQJgZwDXlTsHcXQ/s1600/47829_486721661395037_1113620166_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT3EJskMDrotbLdXesdsFlPj1lbOUQLc5zMMBFWyDk6EK-l7rM8oNPM8F55Giuqcd7hWMJBoEYC0GeNU715iVnXdbYmmLmNHB6gf0xPufViQkW8OcuaUcujiIEYOu4bQJgZwDXlTsHcXQ/s640/47829_486721661395037_1113620166_n.jpg" width="475" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Photographed: Quintin Hill, Ashley Linder, Stone Lyons and Bryan Ita</span></div>
ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-50230953534410164072013-03-11T15:21:00.000-07:002013-06-28T15:21:30.159-07:00Today I made...Rosebud Sugar Skull<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I made...</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Rosebud Sugar Skull<br /></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKPme0kC-HM8KYqVyKcx5xQnAemTM9XRZP2YR6n7seAFpk37rczLXfB3mJXWuls_u455LmIfUEwcUZTrOgQchuzM7kjxcTttrm_h9tVNXWgoyxdmbDmVtqUEC-P2PJohksH-LqSY2jn_s/s960/602097_917081738999_571197009_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKPme0kC-HM8KYqVyKcx5xQnAemTM9XRZP2YR6n7seAFpk37rczLXfB3mJXWuls_u455LmIfUEwcUZTrOgQchuzM7kjxcTttrm_h9tVNXWgoyxdmbDmVtqUEC-P2PJohksH-LqSY2jn_s/s400/602097_917081738999_571197009_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I completed another sugar skull last night in efforts to use up some old thrift store earrings. My proportions are still a little off but at least I've evolved past my "nothing but Neanderthal" skull phase. It's interesting that my progress has mirrored that of actual skull evolution to a T!
<br />Pretty trippy...</span>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-31821619154195011732013-03-07T15:24:00.000-08:002013-06-28T15:25:03.882-07:00Today I made..."Beyond the static"<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I made...</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Beyond the static"</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqrJM1QTWxgXuscytxTtAqKtDW5BffXBqvoRHvgW3hCnRNcjLu1Lr0oQPdIX2b9IVNG6a78w6mM7SVjWwzKGOa-usjRgQOzRXs9jhPgPex1ujikNXQfFDGIElWdiDwxE9JWgZj1VZlk9Q/s960/64814_585369868139740_712355854_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqrJM1QTWxgXuscytxTtAqKtDW5BffXBqvoRHvgW3hCnRNcjLu1Lr0oQPdIX2b9IVNG6a78w6mM7SVjWwzKGOa-usjRgQOzRXs9jhPgPex1ujikNXQfFDGIElWdiDwxE9JWgZj1VZlk9Q/s400/64814_585369868139740_712355854_n.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Beyond the static", 2013; Finally finished my first commissioned piece! <br /><br />We are constantly bombarded with and distracted by stimuli. It becomes all too easy to lose your own footing or never properly gain it to begin with. This piece is meant to highlight the feeling of bewilderment towards our world while reinforcing the simple truth that peace and enlightenment come from within.</span>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-53524571726680607522013-02-21T15:31:00.000-08:002013-06-28T15:33:00.943-07:00Next Stand-up Performance...<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Next Stand-up Performance...</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">February 21, 2013 || 8pm || $5</span></i></div>
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<i><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse</span></i></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaJVY-qJbUTGxLnJk6X4SbHwp3aEqIJa4RWBQmQ5QlFzjQeLnmC5ncj2Y5U6aRD4XiGaPz3FQlBX19gT_wggc5g9EkEPu0NLQmjeo23w300LB0L0xRWMbh2RyNmAmXL4ruKRaq0umAgrU/s1600/820715_207568496048510_1986143926_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="411" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaJVY-qJbUTGxLnJk6X4SbHwp3aEqIJa4RWBQmQ5QlFzjQeLnmC5ncj2Y5U6aRD4XiGaPz3FQlBX19gT_wggc5g9EkEPu0NLQmjeo23w300LB0L0xRWMbh2RyNmAmXL4ruKRaq0umAgrU/s640/820715_207568496048510_1986143926_o.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Mark your calendars, friends! I will be performing comedy of the stand-up variety at the Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse on Thursday, February 21st at 8pm. Jermaine Fowler (of Comedy Central and CollegeHumor.com) will be headlining and tickets are $5! Come out with your gaggle and giggle all night.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">UPDATE:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In case you missed it, here is my live set:</span><br />
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ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-30599510285609323552012-12-07T13:30:00.003-08:002013-06-28T13:03:47.423-07:00Tagg Magazine's Annual Women's Holiday Party<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tagg Magazine's Annual Women's Holiday Party</span></b></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Promotional Post</span></i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i> So, you've got no plans for Hanukkah eve, huh? Here it is, the Friday before the festival of lights and you've got nothing to do. Well don't get your dreidel in a twirl, there's a party just for you and all your shiksa-loving friends. Tagg Magazine is hosting it's first annual Women's Holiday Party at Phase One of Dupont in Washington, DC (</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">1415 22nd St NW, Washington)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> this very night! Ha-Zaa!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Doors open at 9 pm and cover is $8 (21+). Looking to get some holiday shopping done whilst out on the town? Well you're in luck, Proactive Paula! There will be local gift vendors on-sight (<a href="http://www.theaffectmovement.com/">The Affect Movement</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/TightBodyMakeover">Tight Body Makeover</a>, <a href="http://www.thelocalmassagetherapist.com/">the Local Massage Therapist</a>, and <a href="http://laboroflovefilm.org/">Labor of Love Film</a>). Why waste your money at department stores supporting face-less corporations when you can purchase hand-made goods from individuals who you can actually reach out and touch?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> At 11pm I have the pleasure of MC'ing the Drag Show which will be ASL interpreted. I also took it upon myself to assume "Holiday Party" meant "costume party" and will be dressed as an elf. At least I know standing next to a couple of fierce queens and kings, me dressed in a onesie with a fanny-flap won't be the most bold outfit choice on stage. If you find it in poor taste for me to be wearing a Christmas costume instead of a more timely Hanukkah outfit, we're in the same boat friend. I <i>wanted</i> to dress up as a dreidel but had a whale of a time trying to pin down that ensemble last minute. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> The evening will close with the crowing of the highly-coveted title of Ms. & Mr. Season's Greetings. So get your jingle balls ready to rock and come out tonight to support local artists and spread some holiday cheer!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /><br /><b><u>UPDATE:</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 18px;">Hosting my first ever drag queen/king show was real delight. Thanks to everyone at Tagg Magazine and Phase One, Dupont for giving me the opportunity to share the stage with the most magical performers Washington, DC has to offer. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I would also like to thank Ms. Coco Bottoms for teaching me how to properly secure ones merkin to the outerside of your panties...I'm sure that shit will come in handy later on in life.</span></div>
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ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-2170639503919533182012-12-06T19:30:00.000-08:002013-06-28T13:26:35.632-07:00Tagg Magazine Launch Party<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Tagg Magazine Launch Party</span></b></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Promotional Post + Video</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">On October 20, 2012, the district's first lesbian magazine was introduced into the world and the streets became swollen with hordes of elated ladies (...and queers, and fellas). They demanded a party, and the ladies of LURe answered their cries. All were out to celebrate the magical moment that a lesbian publication (that wasn't porn) hit the streets!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Eboné Bell is the creative powerhouse that took Tagg Magazine from a dream to a glossy, bi-monthly publication whose website constantly teams with new content. And while she has never publicly stated it, I believe the pun of a <i>bi-</i>monthly LGBT magazine was <b>completely</b> intended...yah I see what you did there, Eboné.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was lucky enough to attend their LURe produced launch party and speak with attendees about their reactions towards the first ever DC published lesbian magazine.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So prepare to get Tagg'd m'friends, for Tagg Magazine's Ashley Linder is on the prowl with a microphone and a camera!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/To-yRZR5ETo?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Video Produced by Stone Lyons Media</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.taggmagazine.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Click here to find Tagg Magazine's online publication.</span></a><br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/taggmagazine"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Click here to "like" them on Facebook.</span></a><br />
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ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-87549286060394376662012-12-05T19:54:00.000-08:002013-06-28T13:53:05.051-07:00Kweifing 101<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Kweifing 101</span></b></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">...an introduction</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Unlike its urban dictionary dwelling homonym, this blog has nothing to do with excess air build-up inside of a lady's nether regions. Nor is this a site dedicated to the search and capture of the fabled creature that so many candy-kids and children adore. This page is dedicated to something greater, something more magical than a simple horned horse. This blog is a place where dreams become reality and seemingly mythological notions come to fruition. </span></div>
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<a href="http://cdn.physorg.com/newman/gfx/news/2008/1-singlehorned.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> The mystical nature of unicorns has always intrigued me. We've been conditioned to believe that these animals could never actually exist, that they are the work of fiction and yet it doesn't take an exhaustive google search to find thousands of results displaying malformed creatures with bones spouting from their heads. A horse with a horn (or more realistically, a deer or elk with a bone deformity) isn't <i>that</i> far fetched, in fact- it's a reality. Sure, they don't shit rainbows, leave a trail of glitter or have hair that smells like cupcakes, but a unicorn-like animal <i>does actually exist.</i> </span></div>
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<a href="http://cdn.physorg.com/newman/gfx/news/2008/1-singlehorned.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://cdn.physorg.com/newman/gfx/news/2008/1-singlehorned.jpg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> We live in a time unlike any other. Now more than ever, the masses are aware that anything <b>really is</b> possible. We are but a tiny blip in the vastness of the universe. There is so much we don't know and can't see. Every day we're making new discoveries in the world of science and exploration and new information is but a click or two away. Like my belief in the unicorn, I've been told many of the dreams I have aren't possible, that they're too idealistic or absurd to ever materialize into something real. Maybe the unicorn Aesop wrote of is a myth, but that's not to say that a horned creature is solely the work of fiction. Once, stumbling upon an image of a deformed deer, I had the striking realization that dreams sometimes require a shift in perspective in order to come to life. They may not be real in the way a unicorn queefing out double rainbows isn't but that doesn't mean they are impossible.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> There is a lot of shit floating around these days: on television, on the internet, on our cellphones, in our over-active minds. It takes patience and a great deal of skill to silence all the external distractions and truly listen to what our soul demands of us. When I allow the world around me to fall away and I am at peace with myself, my heart sings a song of "together-ness". As a child, I dreamed of living in a community of artists. A rose-colored place where everything was beautiful, people grew their own food, and I could live in a treehouse and ride a robotic dinosaur to work without being judged. My parents were quick to inform me that my dreamland DID exist and it was called a "commune". And that's where people had wild sex parties, no one wore pants, and all sense of morality was thrown out the window. The idea of a slack-less life never became appealing to me but I couldn't shake the vision of creatives coming together and forming a community. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> "The Eunikorn's Kweif" is my attempt to share something genuine with others. My world is full of creative individuals who are changing the world by infusing it with beauty and art. I want to suck in the imaginative air around me and expel it unto the world. I guess you could say I want to "kweif out creativity" and let the winds of the internet bring even more like-minded individuals this way. Whether it be my opinion; articles I've found while sifting through the expansive sandbox of the internet; doodles I've created to mock the sick, sad side of our modern world; promotional posts highlighting the work of artistic friends; new handmade arts & crafts available for purchase on my etsy page; or videos made with the intention of brightening others' days; this blog is meant to serve all my artistic needs as well as be a source of smiles and enlightening thoughts for others.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Unicorns do exist (<a href="http://www.theatlanticwire.com/global/2012/11/north-korea-says-they-unearthed-unicorn-lair/59483/">just ask the North Koreans</a>), but only when you adopt a new perspective on something the rest of the world regards as "a deformity" or "an imperfection". Once you embrace your "flaws" and recognize them as your strengths, you might just turn into something myths are made of. If you want to live in your own dreamland, all you have to do is create it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> So here's my attempt to share a little light with the world...</span><br />
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ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-40741221011101937162012-12-04T13:51:00.000-08:002013-06-28T13:52:22.147-07:00Doodles: "What is The Eunikorn's Kweif?"<br />
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<b>Doodles</b></div>
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<i>"What is The Eunikorn's Kweif?"<br /></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz_ayuKT8nOOqh41H36zoPmbbgKX3doXuCxcwJgP1amRF1ztWQRaYy3qjVRk-LD3oGgBznaePUaweIpsWftTmVqjr1S6CURMKcWrttmH6iwa8ojA32X2c1sxDM2D6FpD6cIpREnwOaUiY/s1600/574522_494612273882167_1696765382_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="467" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz_ayuKT8nOOqh41H36zoPmbbgKX3doXuCxcwJgP1amRF1ztWQRaYy3qjVRk-LD3oGgBznaePUaweIpsWftTmVqjr1S6CURMKcWrttmH6iwa8ojA32X2c1sxDM2D6FpD6cIpREnwOaUiY/s640/574522_494612273882167_1696765382_n.jpg" width="640" /></a>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-62647747932490406812012-11-22T18:09:00.000-08:002013-06-28T13:54:00.441-07:00Doodles: "Turkey & Stuffin'"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Doodles</b></span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Turkey & Stuffin'</span></i></div>
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<br />ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5784127104082666537.post-51699323747598025582012-11-20T13:32:00.002-08:002012-11-20T13:34:24.853-08:00Real Ladies Don't Poop<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Real Ladies Don't Poop</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <i>...how farts changed my perspective on life</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Social norms have always confused me. The things that are the most universal, the most human, the most <i>normal</i> are all too often deemed "inappropriate" or "sophomoric to scoff at". Farting, body hair, female breasts, queefs, circumrot <i>(the gunk that builds up inside an uncircumcised penis)</i>, burping, odors from within...everyone has an opinion on the properness of these things yet few feel that they are worthy of public consumption. <i>"Ew, don't talk about that, it's vulgar. You're a lady."</i> </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In a world that seeks to define and separate us at every bend, why would we mute the very things that unequivocally tie us together? We might never see eye to eye on politics, religion, favorite authors, sexual orientation or when it's ok to laugh about death <i>(I generally lean towards the "too soon" side of the spectrum, this does not win me many friends at funerals)</i> but no matter who you are or what you believe common ground for the human race is always but a breeze away <i>(read: farts are universal)</i>. When we look within on a biological/chemical level we are all virtually the same. The same processes that occur within my body <i>(digestion, hair growth, blood pumping, etc.)</i> occur within yours. No matter what sensation we experience in this life, emotional or otherwise, someone somewhere has felt something similar.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Have you ever experienced a bowel movement that urgently wanted to escape your body? The pressure from all the waste within you boring down on your fanny hole, filling your chest with the slight pang of anxiety, <i>"Will I make it in time? Will I unleash unto this world a smelly demon or just mess my pants?" </i></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Have you ever upon defecation gotten goosebumps along the upper side your thighs, as if your entire body was rejoicing in you and a job well done? </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Have you ever had a belch so potent and pungent that you could identify all portions of your most recent meal? Have you ever secretly enjoyed revisiting those flavors, sniffing the air wistfully while no one was looking? (<i>I may be on a boat with that last one, but go with me here...)</i></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Humans are capable of some disgusting things <i>(bigotry, murder, self-loathing, malicious actions towards each other, etc.) </i>but that which comes from within us <b>all</b> isn't bad and should not be vilified or be used as a tool to oppress. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am a woman who appreciates "fart-humor". No, I won't rip one whenever a rumble rolls down south. I do practice discretion when I expel gas because like most things in life it's funnier <i>on occasion</i>. If I went around doing nothing but farting and laughing it wouldn't speak of my wit so much as my gastrointestinal distress. The art of comedy is in the timing. Like the phrase "that's what she said" or "YOLO", farts are a bold spice to life meant to be peppered-in <i>sparingly</i>. If you use it all the time it's not funny, it's hack.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In efforts to lead an ego-less existence, I accept all that I am and unabashedly so. Not only do I fart but I am among a growing group of women who proudly state, <i>"I poop!"</i> For years I was told by men and women alike that <i>"real ladies don't poop"</i> and <i>"that hole is for when the other one gets stretched out"</i>. When I was born my mother pushed so hard that she literally shit me out of her womb. Covered in fecal matter and blood, I came into this world pre-soiled. I was born a dirty bitch who didn't quite fit in with all the immaculate-looking gerber babies.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Twenty-five years later and I'm still pulling chunks of shit off myself. T</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">he excrement that now coats my skin isn't from my mother but from society as we know it. Here in America, the land of the free and brave, we are saturated in shit. Turn on your TV, log into Facebook, or get on your cellphone- you'll feel/see/hear it. Everyday we are bombarded with messages on how frightening and terror-filled the world is; on how we compare to others; on what is in and what is out; OPINIONS OPINIONS OPINIONS! The media's job has transformed from one of informing the public to now manipulating and influencing the masses. The idea of using propaganda to get people to think like you want them to isn't a new tactic but the level in which we are subjected to it has expanded in a major way. These aren't a couple of posters on the sides of building telling us to turn in our gold for the war effort, modern day propaganda is an unrelenting stream of shit that even the most skilled individuals have difficultly wading through.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">There was a time I believed that all the negative voices I heard in my head were direct reflections of my own insecurities. It couldn't possibly have been the work of some clever marketing campaigns that wanted to make me feel low in hopes I'd buy their products. No, no, no...it was all in <b>my</b> head and no one else's. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No other person could possibly feel the way that I do if only because my life experience</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>(and everyone else's for that matter)</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">was unlike anything that had ever existed before or would exist again. I know within each of us is a world of possibilities and perceptions. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Early on in high school I became concerned about my weight. Not because runway models in Milan made me feel inferior but because I was a late bloomer whose thighs would get chafed when I ran and because I had a giant dumper before it was fashionable. Yet turn on the news and story after story would suggest that the models themselves were responsible for every child with insecurities regarding their body. It wasn't the fault of the major corporations who's commercials spoke of being beautiful and desirable and sold make-up or diet pills or "body enhancing clothing" to men and women who CLEARLY were awful without them. Nope, it was the models they hired to hawk their products.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I mean no disrespect to those slight-framed females but not once did I aspire to be them. Not once did I spot a woman traipsing down a long hallway and wish that I was her size and shape and had her life. What I envied in others in high school was something beneath the surface...something one could never truly determine with a simple glance. What I envied was what I perceived to be happiness in others. This is not to say that I was an unhappy teen, in fact quite the contrary. But from the outside looking in, everyone else always seemed to have it together in a way I couldn't begin to imagine. I might have been happy but I had no fucking idea what I was doing. They seemed to be so well adjusted and content...I wanted that too.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When I entered my college years I learned very quickly that I wasn't the only one who felt lost in life. One night a friend knocked on my door and asked if I'd join her on a walk because she needed to talk to someone. As we sauntered around the greenhouse and through the common-area she confided in me that she didn't know why she was in college. She felt like she was a fraud, wasting her parents money, going down a path she may or may not want for the rest of her life. <i>"I'm an adult now, right? I should know where I'm going. I should have a clear vision of my future and be marching towards it but I- I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore. Everyone else here has a path, you know? They want something so their going after it. And here I am, barely able to deal with my emotions let alone be able to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. I feel like I'm barely treading water. I'm so lost." </i>We sat down by the fountain and she rested her head on my shoulder and began to sob.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This <i>would</i> have been a fantastic time for me to pull out my inner Oprah and spew some inspiring, transformative, life-affirming shit but instead I said, "<i>I'm lost too. And I'd venture to guess that if we both, coming from completely different backgrounds, feel this way maybe a lot of people can relate...maybe everyone is pushing forward desperately seeking some sort of solid ground in their world. Maybe no one knows what they're doing...we're all just making it up as we go along."</i> She had stopped crying by then and began to smile, "<i>if that's the case someone should let everyone know that life is one big clusterfuck or put 'don't worry, you're fine...no one knows what their doing' on every billboard in America. How's that for truth in advertising!"</i></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For the rest of the night we shared the stars and silence. I thought long and hard about our conversation and wondered how many others had similar exchanges in the past. My view of the world shifted that night. I learned that no matter how "together" everyone else appeared to be, those feelings of doubt and confusion were universal and human. They are what keeps us searching for more stimuli, more experiences, more interactions. They are what ultimately leads to a better quality of life. These feelings that I once loathed were now awash in the most beautiful, positive light. I saw them as tools to construct myself into the person I wanted to become instead of the tools that would lead to my personal implosion.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Those same old feelings have been bubbling up and over within me once again. Our world is changing at a mind-boggling rate and all too often I feel as if I'm not doing enough to engage with it. I want to run, run, run but my legs aren't quite strong enough. Our generation was raised on fast cuts, bright lights, and ADD medication...it's little wonder why we find it so difficult to sit still and be with self. Everyday I take baby steps towards becoming the well-rounded artist I know that I am. I remind myself that these struggles I face they aren't mine alone...others deal with the same sort of shit, we're all human after all. I have moments where my overactive mind takes over and tries to make me believe that I need to do it all RIGHT MEOW! But the reality is that all I really need in the "now" is a solid frame of mind, one that is positive and encouraging, one that dismisses the negative voices and all the distractions the media tosses our way, and one that remains connected to this moment...it will never happen again, right? </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm in a state of transition and I need to throw my hands in the air, enjoy the ride, and trust that everything is going exactly as it should.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Flatulence will always be is funny to me but it serves a greater purpose in my life. Farts act as a reminder that no matter how seriously you take yourself, you're still human. If you eat an entire burrito from chipotle, you are eventually going to take a massive dump. It's a fact. We can choose to deny the processes occurring within us in the interest of "social etiquettes" or we can drop our walls and embrace the fact that we're all capable of the same fears, insecurities, emotions and shit.</span></span>ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08381817928446553225noreply@blogger.com0