Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Chronicles of an Adorably Awkward Lesbian

apacowayner's VLOG
The Chronicles of an Adorably Awkward Lesbian


Curious as to what I’ve been up to in recent years? Do you find yourself being kept up at night by the ever present thought of, “What is that lil rascal, Ashley Lindo, up to? Bitch never returns my texts, she damn well better be busy as shit.” 

Well, that’s a little hostile and weird but obviously not that weird enough for me as I’ve made a video expressing such things just for you. This vlog details what I’ve been doing with my life both professionally and personally since completing high school and my plans for the future.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

San Fran, Sans Plan

San Fran, Sans Plan
apacolyptic productions

This summer I was in desperate need of some solace. My mind felt scattered and my spirit yearned for something more. After my 26th birthday I spontaneously bought a ticket to the bay area and spent a month visiting my best friend. 

The footage was collected from my month in San Francisco and our road-trip to Los Angeles.



Check out Jill's work at www.jillbethhannes.com


Saturday, July 20, 2013

Professional résumé vs Acting résumé

Professional résumé vs Acting résumé
Personal Photos

The only difference between my professional résumé and my acting résumé?


Twerking.
I'm so proud.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Doodles: "A babe caught in the breeze"

Doodles
"A babe caught in the breeze"

Move over, Kim K! There's a new sheriff in fannytown...

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Today I made...Skull Bracelets

Today I made...
Skull Bracelets


I tried to use up most of the skull beads I had lying around by making some bracelets and necklace charms today.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Today I made...Tyrannosaurus Rex Plate

Today I made...
Tyrannosaurus Rex Plate

Today I made a plate that encourages a healthy, active lifestyle and has a dinosaur on it...also, datass.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Next Stand-up Performance...

Next Stand-up Performance:
May 30, 2013 || 8pm || $5

Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse


I drew a space unicorn to inform you that I will be performing at the Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse next week (Thursday, May 30th at 8pm). Come out and get weird with me.




UPDATE:
In case you missed it, here is the live performance from May 30th:


Monday, May 20, 2013

The Indianapolis Bench

The Indianapolis Bench
Personal Photos


I'm outside waiting for the truck to find its way back to the garage so we can load it up and go to the banquet and as I'm sitting on the bench I see a lady sitting across from me. She's the very picture of a strong black woman. Her braids securely pinned down and held to her head with a mesh hair net. She is a janitor here and began to tell me how she looks like a mess and her husband told her she should be ashamed but she liked her sweatpants and t shirt. I told her comfort is important and I thought she looked beautiful. She went on about her vacation plans and how she planned on wearing dresses everyday and sandals. She even plans to get her toenails done so she can strut all around. "ima take the bus too because I ain't go nowhere to be. Ima enjoy my time off." She hasn't taken off in years because there was no one to cover her shifts but they hired a new girl recently. Then another woman walked up. White with a mullet, she plopped down next to her friend and they both started talking with me. This woman and her husband were just pulled over by a cop who's been bugging them for a while because their truck isn't safe to drive. "howmeye supposta get to work? I live on the west side and this cop was nasty." The other woman replied, "he iddit hafta do that." It felt good to speak with them. Not sure why exactly, but it did.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

National Seaperch Challenge 2013

National Seaperch Challenge 2013
Indianapolis, Indiana

I went to Indianapolis this weekend to host the live webcast of the National SeaPerch Challenge along with 5:00 Films and Media.

Now more than ever teaching children the fundamentals of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics needs to go beyond the classroom. Programs like SeaPerch provide an invaluable resource for the engineers of tomorrow.

The only way I'd be more excited for this gig would be if the children were engineering fully automated creatures from the Mesozoic era...but, I mean, they are talented lil babers- maybe robodinos aren't completely out of the question.







Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Silk Route Music Festival Commercial Shoot

Silk Route Music Festival
Commercial Shoot



This past weekend m’lady and I went to the land of wild ponies to shoot a commercial for the Silk Route Music Festival in Cyprus.

With my glow-in-the-dark skin and Jenn’s almond eyes of joy we were the perfect hires for a commercial to air all over the Middle East and Russia…blended right in with those Persian and Iranian girls, practically twins.

Like most beach shoots with perfectly clear skies, it was freezing and I honestly believed for a moment there that my nipples were going to push out of my skin and skidder on down the beach they were so erect. A park ranger came by and gave the hula hoop a whirl. (And, as is the norm for our generation, everyone captured the moment via their cellular devices.)

To anyone who has ever mistakenly thought I was well adjusted or could handle myself responsibly in situations where others are present, ya’ll some silly ass geese. I’m awkward as fuck. My social anxieties are evident even when on a set. I’m tall and thus normally am placed in the back in group shots. This is great because then I can really cut loose and explore my dance moves…get real wild with that shit. I, unlike most gals, don’t give a flying fuck if I’m on camera or not. You need a filler, someone who will have only the back of their arm in a shot? I’m your girl. No ego here, work is work. As long as I will get a copy and credit, I’m golden. I can be seen above “blending in" with all the beautiful people…and by that I mean standing out in a painfully profound way.

It hurts to be this cool, it really does.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Friday, March 29, 2013

"Keri Kyphosis": An ACL Digital Short

Keri Kyphosis
An ACL Digital Short


Like any raging queen, nothing sounds better to me than a good wig and expressive hand motions. Above are some snapshots of the different characters I portray in my most recent comedic short, "Keri Kyphosis".

Keri is an unlikely model who proves that the world of high fashion has room for one more mishapen ball of clay.


Check out the video and subscribe to my youtube!


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Mautner Project Gala 2013

Mautner Project Gala 2013
with Ashley Linder and Tagg Magazine


It was both my honor and pleasure to cover the Mautner Project Gala on behalf of Tagg Magazine this evening. I interviewed three state delegates including the honoree of the evening, Maggie McIntosh, who helped to pass the legislation legalizing gay marriage in Maryland.

The Mautner Project is committed to improving the health of women who partner with women including lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals, through direct and support services, education and advocacy.

Check out the video produced by Kelsey Brannan:

Monday, March 18, 2013

On being fierce, fabulous, and yourself

Thoughts on being fierce, fabulous, and yourself.
Joining "The Fashion District DC" Team

In early 2013, I received an e-mail from my friend, Stone, who asked for my help with his latest project. He wanted to produce an online fashion video digest that put DC in the spotlight. The nation's capital is known for many things-- free museums, politicians, government, traffic congestion, borrowed architecture, but... fashion? Do Washingtonians have any real "fashion sense"? Stone wanted to tackle that question by creating a visual record of just what was happening in the DC fashion scene, leaving the answer up to the viewer.



Fashion is something I do not know much about. My own personal style consists of thrifted clothing, comfortable fabrics, offensively bright colors, interesting textures, patterned leggings/hose/tights, and cool things my sister is no longer wearing. Comfort has always been my chief concern. I mean, you're going to be schlepping around in these garments for a while, why not enjoy how they feel against your skin? If it feels good and is reasonably priced (which hardly anything in this area is anymore, hence why most of my clothing is from the thrift store), I'm down to complete the sale and call it my own. 

No one has ever told me I was fashionable. In fact, when I was a traffic reporter on television, the higher-ups expressed that my style was too colorful, too vest-ful, and most of all, "not newscaster-y at all." Only after years of hearing how different my clothing tastes are that I finally understand it... I don't dress like people think I should, and that's not a bad thing. 

Everyone has their own sense of what looks good and what feels good. In the fashion world, there is a place for everyone to shine. You like bold animal prints and hoop skirts? There's an outfit for you, honey. You want to wear nothing but black for the rest of your days? There's a community that's there to support you, booboo. You want to spend hours doing your make-up and glue foam to your face every night? There is a world waiting to hold you close to its breast (the NYC club kids are still going strong and are impeccably dressed night after night). It doesn't matter if you think you fit in or you don't. Fashion isn't about fitting in, though the corporate machine would like us to believe otherwise... It's about being innovative and standing out.

With fashion, it's important to never lose your personal center. To quote Stone Lyons, creator of 'The Fashion District DC':
"Be fierce,
 be fabulous,
 but most of all, be yourself."

Photographed: Quintin Hill, Ashley Linder, Stone Lyons and Bryan Ita

Monday, March 11, 2013

Today I made...Rosebud Sugar Skull

Today I made...
Rosebud Sugar Skull

I completed another sugar skull last night in efforts to use up some old thrift store earrings. My proportions are still a little off but at least I've evolved past my "nothing but Neanderthal" skull phase. It's interesting that my progress has mirrored that of actual skull evolution to a T!
Pretty trippy...

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Today I made..."Beyond the static"

Today I made...
"Beyond the static"


"Beyond the static", 2013; Finally finished my first commissioned piece!

We are constantly bombarded with and distracted by stimuli. It becomes all too easy to lose your own footing or never properly gain it to begin with. This piece is meant to highlight the feeling of bewilderment towards our world while reinforcing the simple truth that peace and enlightenment come from within.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Next Stand-up Performance...

Next Stand-up Performance...
February 21, 2013 || 8pm || $5
Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse


Mark your calendars, friends! I will be performing comedy of the stand-up variety at the Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse on Thursday, February 21st at 8pm. Jermaine Fowler (of Comedy Central and CollegeHumor.com) will be headlining and tickets are $5! Come out with your gaggle and giggle all night.

UPDATE:
In case you missed it, here is my live set:

Friday, December 7, 2012

Tagg Magazine's Annual Women's Holiday Party

Tagg Magazine's Annual Women's Holiday Party
Promotional Post

      So, you've got no plans for Hanukkah eve, huh? Here it is, the Friday before the festival of lights and you've got nothing to do. Well don't get your dreidel in a twirl, there's a party just for you and all your shiksa-loving friends. Tagg Magazine is hosting it's first annual Women's Holiday Party at Phase One of Dupont in Washington, DC (
1415 22nd St NW, Washington) this very night! Ha-Zaa!

     Doors open at 9 pm and cover is $8 (21+). Looking to get some holiday shopping done whilst out on the town? Well you're in luck, Proactive Paula! There will be local gift vendors on-sight (The Affect Movement, Tight Body Makeover, the Local Massage Therapist, and Labor of Love Film). Why waste your money at department stores supporting face-less corporations when you can purchase hand-made goods from individuals who you can actually reach out and touch?

     At 11pm I have the pleasure of MC'ing the Drag Show which will be ASL interpreted. I also took it upon myself to assume "Holiday Party" meant "costume party" and will be dressed as an elf. At least I know standing next to a couple of fierce queens and kings, me dressed in a onesie with a fanny-flap won't be the most bold outfit choice on stage. If you find it in poor taste for me to be wearing a Christmas costume instead of a more timely Hanukkah outfit, we're in the same boat friend. I wanted to dress up as a dreidel but had a whale of a time trying to pin down that ensemble last minute. 

     The evening will close with the crowing of the highly-coveted title of Ms. & Mr. Season's Greetings. So get your jingle balls ready to rock and come out tonight to support local artists and spread some holiday cheer!




UPDATE:

Hosting my first ever drag queen/king show was real delight. Thanks to everyone at Tagg Magazine and Phase One, Dupont for giving me the opportunity to share the stage with the most magical performers Washington, DC has to offer. 

I would also like to thank Ms. Coco Bottoms for teaching me how to properly secure ones merkin to the outerside of your panties...I'm sure that shit will come in handy later on in life.





Thursday, December 6, 2012

Tagg Magazine Launch Party

Tagg Magazine Launch Party
Promotional Post + Video

On October 20, 2012, the district's first lesbian magazine was introduced into the world and the streets became swollen with hordes of elated ladies (...and queers, and fellas). They demanded a party, and the ladies of LURe answered their cries. All were out to celebrate the magical moment that a lesbian publication (that wasn't porn) hit the streets!

Eboné Bell is the creative powerhouse that took Tagg Magazine from a dream to a glossy, bi-monthly publication whose website constantly teams with new content. And while she has never publicly stated it, I believe the pun of a bi-monthly LGBT magazine was completely intended...yah I see what you did there, Eboné.

I was lucky enough to attend their LURe produced launch party and speak with attendees about their reactions towards the first ever DC published lesbian magazine.

So prepare to get Tagg'd m'friends, for Tagg Magazine's Ashley Linder is on the prowl with a microphone and a camera!



Video Produced by Stone Lyons Media

Click here to find Tagg Magazine's online publication.
Click here to "like" them on Facebook.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Kweifing 101

Kweifing 101
...an introduction

     Unlike its urban dictionary dwelling homonym, this blog has nothing to do with excess air build-up inside of a lady's nether regions. Nor is this a site dedicated to the search and capture of the fabled creature that so many candy-kids and children adore. This page is dedicated to something greater, something more magical than a simple horned horse. This blog is a place where dreams become reality and seemingly mythological notions come to fruition. 

     The mystical nature of unicorns has always intrigued me. We've been conditioned to believe that these animals could never actually exist, that they are the work of fiction and yet it doesn't take an exhaustive google search to find thousands of results displaying malformed creatures with bones spouting from their heads. A horse with a horn (or more realistically, a deer or elk with a bone deformity) isn't that far fetched, in fact-  it's a reality. Sure, they don't shit rainbows, leave a trail of glitter or have hair that smells like cupcakes, but a unicorn-like animal does actually exist. 

     We live in a time unlike any other. Now more than ever, the masses are aware that anything really is possible. We are but a tiny blip in the vastness of the universe. There is so much we don't know and can't see. Every day we're making new discoveries in the world of science and exploration and new information is but a click or two away. Like my belief in the unicorn, I've been told many of the dreams I have aren't possible, that they're too idealistic or absurd to ever materialize into something real. Maybe the unicorn Aesop wrote of is a myth, but that's not to say that a horned creature is solely the work of fiction. Once, stumbling upon an image of a deformed deer, I had the striking realization that dreams sometimes require a shift in perspective in order to come to life. They may not be real in the way a unicorn queefing out double rainbows isn't but that doesn't mean they are impossible.

     There is a lot of shit floating around these days: on television, on the internet, on our cellphones, in our over-active minds. It takes patience and a great deal of skill to silence all the external distractions and truly listen to what our soul demands of us. When I allow the world around me to fall away and I am at peace with myself, my heart sings a song of "together-ness". As a child, I dreamed of living in a community of artists. A rose-colored place where everything was beautiful, people grew their own food, and I could live in a treehouse and ride a robotic dinosaur to work without being judged. My parents were quick to inform me that my dreamland DID exist and it was called a "commune". And that's where people had wild sex parties, no one wore pants, and all sense of morality was thrown out the window. The idea of a slack-less life never became appealing to me but I couldn't shake the vision of creatives coming together and forming a community. 

     "The Eunikorn's Kweif" is my attempt to share something genuine with others. My world is full of creative individuals who are changing the world by infusing it with beauty and art. I want to suck in the imaginative air around me and expel it unto the world. I guess you could say I want to "kweif out creativity" and let the winds of the internet bring even more like-minded individuals this way. Whether it be my opinion; articles I've found while sifting through the expansive sandbox of the internet; doodles I've created to mock the sick, sad side of our modern world; promotional posts highlighting the work of artistic friends; new handmade arts & crafts available for purchase on my etsy page; or videos made with the intention of brightening others' days; this blog is meant to serve all my artistic needs as well as be a source of smiles and enlightening thoughts for others.

     Unicorns do exist (just ask the North Koreans), but only when you adopt a new perspective on something the rest of the world regards as "a deformity" or "an imperfection". Once you embrace your "flaws" and recognize them as your strengths, you might just turn into something myths are made of. If you want to live in your own dreamland, all you have to do is create it. 

     So here's my attempt to share a little light with the world...